Life is Better Lived

At the risk of sounding obsessed, I need to mention John Mayer again.  I went to a concert of his a few years back and experienced one of the most annoying things that happens at concerts.  I was excited to see John Mayer play live because I had heard that he is an amazing guitar player (which he is) and though you get a glimpse of that on his records, nothing compares to his live shows.  During the song Gravity, which is a slow-burning blues song, John just starts jamming.  It was gorgeous but, to my utter disgust, I hear some guy a few seats away practically screaming to his friend.  “Man, this guy can play!  Just stick him up there with a guitar and he’ll blow your mind all night.  Man, that’s awesome!”  It took a lot of patience not to leap over the stadium chairs and pummel him.  I did shush him, however, and got a dirty look from him for the rest of the show. 

Not only was he talking during a concert (something I find extremely rude), but he was talking about how good John Mayer was during one of the best solos of the night.  If he loved John’s playing so much, why couldn’t he just shut up and listen?!?  His friend would have gotten a lot clearer idea of how good John Mayer’s playing is if he was actually permitted to listen.  It still baffles me to this day!

As I think back to that night, after pushing back the anger, I realize I’m not too different from that obnoxious concert talker.  But it’s not a concert I’m talking through, it's life.  Yes, I’m starting to realize that I spend too much time thinking and talking about life, rather than just living it.  I’m constantly longing for wisdom in each situation, hoping to make the best possible choice.  This, in and of itself, is not necessarily bad, but I’ve become so crippled with the fear of making the “wrong” decision that I over think everything, making simple choices into long drawn-out philosophical debates in my head that I obsess about. 

Wisdom can only get you so far.  Like I mentioned in my previous entry, we all seem to be swinging tirelessly for the answers to life, but have neglected things like love and relationship.  Maybe that’s why Solomon, supposedly the wisest man to live, said

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;

the more knowledge the more grief.” –Ecclesiastes 1:18

For Solomon, though he had gained much wisdom and insight, it was all meaningless in the end. 

Again, having wisdom and knowledge are great jewels in life, but they can’t be your life.  Music is better heard than read about, a beautiful sunset is better seen than talked about, and life is better lived than thought about.  And the same can be said about God.  People spend so much time reading and talking about God that they forget to be in relationship with Him, and talk to Him.  I believe God is much more of an experience, better expressed through art and acts of love, than some great philosophical idea to be debated.

I love bikes, and I love to cycle.  I obsess about bikes, and I can spend countless hours reading news and looking at pictures and daydreaming about what I want to buy next for my bike.  But what good is all this if I never actually get on my bike and ride? 

So, I'm going to do my best to stop obsessing about life and actually start living it.  This does not mean I will throw all caution to the wind, but life demands action and so does faith.  And for me, action and faith requires me to let go of fear and shame.  I will do the best I can with what I know at the time and then pray that God's grace and mercy are sufficient (which they are).

So, here's to life!

Belief: It's What's for Dinner

John Mayer: Belief
Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing their mind from
The paint on a sign?
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time?

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they're not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside

Everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Everyone believes
And no one's going quietly

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for

Is there anyone who
Can remember ever surrendering
With their life on the line?

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand
Belief can
Belief can


I’ve been on my own personal philosophical journey lately, and after reading tons of essays and Wikipedia postings and whatnot, I’ve come to realize that everyone does believe in how they think it ought to be, and they are not going quietly. Growing up in the church, I heard all the arguments for and against the existence of a God, and never once during the heated debates did I ever hear someone say, “You know, you’re right. I’m totally wrong.” Maybe it happened, in the heart or mind of someone in the room, but I never heard it uttered. If you throw in the countless discussions about the origin of man, morals, knowledge, and life itself, then you realize we’re all just reinventing the wheel and spinning around aimlessly.

When push comes to shove, whether you’re an atheist, Christian, agnostic, or you believe in The Theory of Evolution, or in Creation, I believe we’re all observing the same world. We’re all suffering from the same heartache and despair. We’re all longing for something, though we may not know what that is. No “true” science that can be observed and tested can say anything about the beginnings of this world, which is a total mystery. And no “religion” can necessarily offer up any empirical evidence. It’s all theories; equally unreasonable.

It seems to me that we all end up in a place where we must choose what to put our faith in. The two choices we’re commonly given in church and in the media are Science and Religion, both completely misrepresented by their followers. The atheists seem to resent Religion; either resenting it because they don’t want to be told what to do in their life, or they are scorned lovers who feel rejected and abused. Christians, on the other hand, just seemed scared to admit that the world, and their religion, might not be exactly what they grew up hearing it was, as somehow that disproves the very existence of God. Both are set on being right. It becomes a very personal battle; one that throws around the concepts of reason and logic, but are fueled by bias and emotion.

So many philosophies are looking back to what has happened and why. But what about today? What about tomorrow? Why are we so caught up in the past when we have so much to live for today? Aren’t we all just searching for love and acceptance? Aren’t the strongest arguments the atheists bring the ones where they ask in a very sincere way, “Why would a loving God allow such pain in this world?” and “Why would a loving God send me to Hell?” To me these questions manifest a longing to understand God and how to relate to Him. Relationships and love seem to defy the need to figure out why or how we got here, but instead bring us to the here and now.

Many question the merits of religion, saying it has no practical value. I can’t help but think that Jesus would agree, for He did not set up a religion (and in fact disputed the religions of His day), but as an alternative established a relationship between man and God, and between mankind itself. Jesus’ ministry was not a philosophical or religious one, but one of compassion, healing, and relationships. He came to reunite us with the love that we’re so desperately craving!

So, as the world around me argues and bickers about whether or not God exist, or if anything exists at all, I take the time to sit back and appreciate the blessings I have in my life. For no matter what anyone believes, it won’t take away from the beauty of love.

Morality: Gray Matters

When it comes to morality, I see it as a spectrum. On one side you find people who follow a black-and-white, checkerboard morality that says that almost every act is either right or wrong, and that every situation has a right or wrong solution. This world can be very legalistic and can produce a lot of guilt if all the rules aren't followed exactly. In this world anything can be regulated, and some people in power seem determined to control as much as they can.

On the other side of the spectrum everything fades to gray. There are no longer the rigid absolutes you find on the other side, and though there still may be "right" and "wrong", they depend much more on the situation than the inherent "morality" of any given action. Several different variables are weighed in each situation, and the "moral" thing to do becomes much more personal and subjective. Though this world can offer some freedom, it can also bring more confusion. It can be hard to find a concrete answer and it can seem like each person is going his or her own way, using a unique personalized map.

Then there are those who throw the whole spectrum out, believing that morality is just a social construct and therefore doesn't actually exist. These people may also believe that there is no absolute Truth, nor is there any meaning to this life. The problem with this theory is that it disproves itself. By stating that there is no Truth or meaning, they have inadvertently declared meaning and Truth.

I believe in a universal Truth, with a capital "T". Something has to be correct. It can't be both black and white at the same time. It may be purple, but it is at least something. Think about history. It too is a matter of knowledge and faith. At any given moment in history, reality happened. The Truth is there. Whether we know exactly what happened is a different thing entirely. JFK was assassinated; no doubt about it. A bullet ripped through his head and he died. Either Oswald did it or a man on the grassy knoll did; or someone else did. I believe that event actually happened, and that someone pulled the trigger of a gun. We may never know exactly what happened that day in Texas, but we can all agree that it happened.

I see morality the same way. Something has to be "good", or "right", or "best" and conversely something must then be "bad", or "wrong", or "worst". Otherwise we couldn't have this conversation.

The problem I have with either extreme of the spectrum is that one side says it knows everything, and the other side says it knows nothing. Though I may not know the answers to every problem that may present itself to me, I do know some fundamental truths that help guide me. I know that stealing is wrong. I can’t really think of any instance where it would be right. On the other hand, I can’t buy that anyone has the unquestionable answer to issues such as masturbation, or cannabis, or voting, or war, or our place as Christians in culture, or piercings and tattoos, or any given topic that’s been debated ad nauseum.

The church leaders aren’t infallible, and the writers of the Bible just don’t talk about certain issues. Too many times our religious beliefs and “morality” has been defined by our culture or those in power. Many of us as Christians grew up hearing that the world is “this” way, and that those who disagree with us are “wrong”. The world is so big and our God is infinite. How can we say with such certainty that we have all the answers, or that we interpreted everything in the Bible correctly? Sure there’s Truth, but do you really think you have all the details down? Do you need to? Didn’t Jesus make it simple for us: Love God and love each other?

The problem comes when you start micro-managing how people use these principles in their own lives, in essence controlling them. We start splitting hairs about almost every little thing imaginable. We soon forget about the original virtues we’re to uphold, and we find ourselves trapped in the checkerboard of life. You can’t go wrong with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law, and to me these are the colors of life.

Church: A House Divided

My dad has been a minister for the Church of Christ all my life. As such, I grew up learning and breathing church life. My parents did their best to raise me up to become a faithful Christian, and they made sure I knew what was right and what was wrong. If you’re not familiar with the Churches of Christ, let me give you a brief and sloppy overview. (For a more in-depth history, click here.) The Churches of Christ are a part of the self-designated Restoration Movement. Growing up, I was taught that there is only one church. This church was established by Jesus and His Apostles back in Acts 2 with the baptism of the Holy Spirit during Pentecost. We can witness this church throughout Acts and in the letters written by Paul and others that make up the New Testament. Since then, however, things like the Catholic Church and the many different denominations coming out of the Reformation Movement of the 16th Century have perverted the one true church and have made a mess of Christ’s body. The Churches of Christ strive to return to the original practices and doctrines of the New Testament church.

Now, I may be biased, but I believe this is a noble goal. I do believe Jesus and His Apostles only established one church, and we can get an idea of what it looked like by reading through the New Testament. In Ephesians 4:3-6 Paul says, “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

Another aspect of the Restoration Movement was a striving to reunify all the different denominations that have strayed from the initial plan. Unity is a serious and righteous goal as well. The problem is: How do you unite all these different groups with their seemingly infinite amount of disagreements? The Churches of Christ feel that we can all turn back to Scripture and follow what we see there; nothing else. Again, I consider this something that is not only critical, but Biblical. Jesus prayed for unity of His followers in the garden before He was taken away to be crucified.

Paul tells the Galatians, “I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!” There is only one Gospel. So, why is it so hard for us as so-called Christians to be united?

Unfortunately, the Churches of Christ have not united all denominations together, and have in fact become quite divisive. Though not ever explicitly stated, my dad taught me that there were three kinds of people in this world: the true Christians that belong to the church of Christ, non-believers, and those who belong to different churches but aren’t part of The Church. The latter were much better than the atheists and agnostics, but he still regarded them as outsiders.

The Churches of Christ among themselves have had several splits, over such mundane things as Bible classes for children, how many cups to use for communion, whether or not to have a kitchen in their building, and whether or not to use instrumental music during worship. There are even urban legends that float around about churches splitting over carpet color for their building, and with my experience, it doesn’t surprise me one bit. The Churches of Christ are very head-strong, and pride themselves on their Scriptural accuracy. It can make for a pretty legalistic and OCD-inducing faith. Little things like not capitalizing the “c” in church of Christ (except for when you use it as a proper noun, which is technically not possible because the church doesn’t have a name) and not calling the ministers “pastors” (because the word “pastor” is actually the word for what is commonly referred to as Elders) are things of importance to most of the old-school Church of Christers. Though, thankfully, there is a movement that is getting away from such trivial arguments.

So, what’s the solution? Well, I believe the problem is something that plagues many groups, whether religious or secular. The problem is a lack of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We, as people who claim to follow Jesus of Nazareth, have become just like the very people Jesus rebuked. We’ve become so caught up in the “rules” of church that we’ve abandoned things like love, justice, peace, and putting others before ourselves. We will never agree on all the little details, and we most likely won’t agree on the bigger details either. But can’t we all agree to follow Jesus Christ, declaring His death, burial, and resurrection until He comes again?

I understand that we have to draw the line somewhere. We can’t accept every doctrine as Truth, and we must use logic and the Holy Spirit to help us discern what is right. But if we get so caught up in what’s “right” and what’s “wrong” that we forget about God’s love, grace, and peace then what good are we to the world? Things like grace, love, patience, justice, and humility are attractive even to non-Christians. How much more could we do in the world if we united around Christ Jesus and His gospel of love?

Cleaning House

When my mom has company over it’s a big ordeal. Not so much when the guests are there, but before they even show up. She insists that everything be perfect and spotlessly clean. She’ll spend days clearing out the fridge, shampooing the carpet, and removing any dust that may have accumulated since the last time she cleaned. Everything must be in its place, and all signs of life and use of the house are removed. It doesn’t matter to her if it’s something you use every day, if it doesn’t look nice it’s shoved down into a drawer; hidden away until the guests leave.

What’s sad is that this was a common experience for me growing up in church. Church wasn’t a place to come as you are (a redeemed sinner), but a place to put on your best clothes, your smiley face, and pretend that God has made your life perfect. Before going to church we put away any unsightly emotions or doubts, making sure that any life struggles too ugly to admit were shoved in a drawer until we got home.

My mom obsessively cleans her house for the same reason most Christians make sure their lives appear spotless before coming to church: they fear judgment. Everyone wants to be admired and looked up to. We want respect and recognition for our accomplishments. Church becomes a beauty contest, instead of a safe place where ugly and broken people can come to find refuge.

We perpetuate the cycle ourselves. Jesus said, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2). If you judge others by a certain criteria, you’re most likely going to hold yourself to the same standard; judging yourself. You’re also more likely to think that others are judging you the same way you judge them.

For the many times the Bible talks about not judging others, it’s amazing how much the Church has become known for its hypocrisy and judgmental attitudes. Are we trying to show that God can cure any of life’s problems? Is it the good ol’ Protestant work ethic that is still influencing us? Or are we just scared that we’ll be found out, so we bring the attention to others’ faults? Whatever the reason, we as the Church have greatly tarnished our reputation.

Sure, my life is much better because I grew up in the Church. Faith in Jesus can lift a lot of burdens from a troubled soul. But I’ve been through a lot in life too, and I’m not always in the best of mood. Maybe it’s a lack of faith, or maybe I’m just human. Unfortunately I can’t share the truth in a place that claims to carry the ultimate Truth. We’re all too concerned about how others view us.

No matter how clean my mom gets her house, it’s still a home; a place where real people eat, sleep, and even relieve themselves. My parents get sick, and leave their stuff sitting around, and make messes when they eat. They don’t have a perfect life or marriage, even if they may appear that way. In the end, we’re all struggling with something. None of us are immune to trauma, mistakes, or disappointments. Our lives will never be perfect, nor will we; no matter how much we work at convincing the people around us otherwise.

I see a church where the leaders and the members can come to each other in humility and confess their sins to each other. I see a church where all can come truly as they are and find a place of peace and refuge; a place where they don’t have to fear judgment, but find true unconditional love. I see a church where the grace and love of God is real; a church that is more concerned about lifting burdens than imposing moral laws. I see a church of gentleness and acceptance; of peace and unity. I believe this is the church that Jesus established.

Infinite Possibilities

Everyone thinks they're right.  Sure, there are those who are wise and humble enough to admit that they may be wrong, but no one chooses to follow an ideology they know or feel is wrong.  Most of us have at least some knowledge about what we believe and have determined it to be correct, at least for now.  There are, however, some that hold their views to be fact.  All evidence to the contrary can either be explained or is dismissed.

Every belief has its contradictory counterpoint, and everything in between is accounted for.  There seems to be an infinite amount of opinions regarding almost every subject, all fiercely debated by finite human beings.  If you've spent any time looking into what different faith traditions believe about certain issues, such as the divinity of Jesus, baptism, speaking in tongues, church government, sexuality (especially homosexuality), or even something as benign as instrumental music, then you know what I'm talking about.  Most claim to have God and scripture on their side, and yet they still disagree.

So, what are we to believe?  What scholars are we to listen to?  How are we to know that what we believe is Truth?  Is there even such a thing as Truth?  Is all the knowledge of the world meaningless?  I had a professor in college who would tell us that at the end of the day you have to stand somewhere.  No matter what the subject, you have an opinion.  Even if that opinion is "I don't know", I still think you have some sort of thought about the subject, but are either too scared or too wise to share it. 

I'm hoping to create a place here where I, as a finite human, can discuss things not only of utmost importance, but that seem to have an infinite amount of answers.  Please feel free to respond and share your opinion.  I just ask that all responses are done with respect and kindness.